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Coop83

Age/Gender: 26, Male
Location: Worcester, UK
Job: Author / Review Mod

Woe to you, oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with Wrath.

Newgrounds Stats

Sign-Up Date:
4/28/04

Level: 43
Aura: Neutral

Rank: Sup. Commander
Blams: 23,352
Saves: 43,086
Rank #: 25

Exp. Points: 20,370 / 20,530
Exp. Rank #: 160
Voting Pow.: 8.44 votes

BBS Posts: 16,239 (7.96 per day)
Flash Reviews: 1,526
Music Reviews: 807
Trophies: 0
Stickers: 0

Entry #31

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Coop83

Blammer 23

Posted by Coop83 Oct. 28, 2009 @ 10:27 AM EDT

Coop sat down by the side of the road, his horse allowed to graze freely for a moment. He removed his helmet and allowed himself a breath of fresh air. This killing would never end, of that he was sure. He pulled an old rag from his pack and wiped some old blood off the once shining helm. A few weeks had passed since some of his friends had been lost to the war. KaynSlamDyke and Dry-Ice were the first to fall to the plague that dulled the senses and slowed reactions. They were now one with the Glorious Dead of the former members of the Knights Moderator.

He considered the reaction that he had heard in the aftermath of those tense days, when hushed voices had called into question the seeming invulnerability of the Prince Wade's chosen men. Some were genuinely grief stricken, while others leaned towards mercenary, deducing that there was now the opportunity for some fresh blooded youngster to make his name. As he worked his way through the layers of grime, slowly reaching a shine that reflected his own chiselled jaw, he wondered how best to honour the memory of those he had fought alongside, who had succumbed while he was left to carry on the fight.

"The times change and some of them grow up, or grow bored. There are always new ones to take their place, I'm afraid. You know that as well as I." Without his head in the helm, the sound was tinny, as if the Prince had his bead in a large metal bucket.

"True. We still fight though, even as the odds are perceived to shift against us." Buffing the helm to a shine, Coop put it down on the rock next to him and picked up his shield, working an arrow loose and starting to file down the puncture wound.

"The fight is long, but we will prevail. People look up to you, as well as the individuals who shun you. Lead by example and restore the shaken faith. You know that you can, as well as your brethren." Dissatisfied with the blemish on the shield, Coop fumbled around in his pack and produced an Angry Faic sticker, which was hastily stuck over the mark.

"Perhaps people do not see you as such a force at the moment. Your sword is still a very good weapon. Show me." Coop put the shield aside and drew his massive zweihander. He held it as if presenting to someone in front of him, when it levitated an inch or so above his hands. "Yes... I think this should do it." An unfamiliar feeling object replaced the zweihander in Coop's hands. As he looked up, he was greeted with a sleek black flail.

"Are you asking me to embrace the dark side, highness?" Coop clutched the flail in his right hand and stood once more.

"No, I just felt that you could use a better weapon. After all, there are a few of the Knights Moderator around with them now, I just thought I'd tidy things up. Now, go and right a few wrongs." Coop stood there for a moment, looking at the flail and smiled. Slowly, he raised the helm back over his head and slid it into place. Securing his shield on his left arm, he clicked his teeth and obediently, his horse trotted over.

In a well practised move, Coop put his left boot in the stirrup and stepped neatly around into the saddle. Looking from the edge of the forest, he saw a fight in progress in the valley. There looked to be more than the usual few people within this one, so he decided to investigate. As the clouds parted, summoning forth a shaft of sunlight, Coop dug his heels into his mare's sides and she reared up onto her hind legs. With Coop standing in the stirrups, his flail held aloft and the reigns in his left hand, he bellowed a challenge to those defiant of him. "Onward Dawn Chaser! Let us ride and show those that there is still a sense of justice in the kingdom of Newgrounds!" Dawn chaser broke into a gallop and the pair of them started to descend the hill path towards the conflict.

Dawn Chaser's hooves kicked up piles of debris and spread them across the dirt track as she descended towards the field. A small field of imps were beginning to crowd around a mutated beast of a creation that lumbered slowly around, attempting to lash out viciously at anyone brave or foolhardy enough to get too close. Being the former, Coop crouched himself low in the saddle and started waving his flail around in a circular motion to his right hand side. "Get me close enough, girl. I'll see what this gift from the prince is capable of." Buoyed by her master's confidence and gumption, she sped towards the beast.

Aware of the threat posed by the fast approaching knight, the beast reared up to its full height in an attempt to spook the horse, but Dawn Chaser was almost as seasoned as Coop in manoeuvres like this. As the creature started to bring down a rock like fist, Dawn Chaser changed direction and moved to the creature's right hand side, allowing Coop to bury the head of the flail in the creature's exposed flank. The blackened head passed into the flesh with a sickening squelch, before being ripped clean from the foe. Angered by this, the beast turned towards Coop and bellowed a challenge, exposing rows of razor sharp teeth, coupled with murderous intent.

Dawn Chaser turned to face the beast and Coop started to swing the flail once more, building up a head of steam. Assessing its chances as slim to none, the creature spotted a young man lying next to a broken pitch fork and slowly lumbered off in that direction. Coop's breathing quickened momentarily, as he worked out what the beast was trying to accomplish. Dawn Chaser began a charge between the peasant and the creature, while Coop stopped swinging his flail and slipped his feet out of the stirrups and moved to a side saddle position. "Take me to the boy!" He yelled, knowing that Dawn Chaser would deliver as she always did.

As the two combatants converged on the injured farmer, Coop dived off his mount, sliding to a stop in front of the prone farm hand, bringing his shield up in front of a clawed hand, where it punched a few small holes. Suddenly, the knight was between the beast and what it appeared to be considering for lunch. Lacking the room to get a full swing in, Coop still managed to bury the head of the flail in his foe once more.

Taking a tight grip on the shield, the creature hauled it to one side, hurling Coop with it. Hardly having time to brace himself, Coop rolled with the force of the throw and got back to his feet, casting aside his battered shield. He could not allow this beast to end the life of someone that he was sworn to protect. He broke into a run and, seeing the opportunity unfold for him, he ran straight up the long, thick tail that the creature appeared to use for balance. Summoning up the last reserves of his strength, he brought the flail down between the creature's head and shoulders, heading a metallic sounding clang, as if the beast was made of metal. As he looked down, towards where the farmer lay, he was very surprised to see that the man knelt in front of the beast, holding the remnants of the pitchfork like a pike.

Coop stumbled as the creature collapsed, causing the knight to land without grace in a heap next to his fallen conquest. He hauled himself to his feet and looked at the kneeling man, who was clutching his ribs, where the beast looked likely to have struck him.

"Young man, you have a good strong arm and a very impressive eye. Are you hurt?" Coop walked over, calling for Dawn Chaser, as he did. When she obediently trotted over, he pulled out a wineskin and a few medical supplies, to treat the civilian.

"Only a little, my lord. Nothing that will not heal though, I'm sure. You have my thanks - I could not have killed it on my own." Coop took off his helmet and started to look over the young man

"I'm happy to be of service. Oh... and I'm no Lord - Sir Coop will suffice."

"Very well, Sir Coop. What brings you to my farm?" The young man was helped to his feet and into a comfortable position atop the saddle. Soon afterwards, Coop returned to his horse's side, complete with his battered shield, now sporting three neat puncture marks and three rather ugly looking scratches down the face. Clearly, it had seen better days.

"Well, passing by and seeing something like that on your farm, I wouldn't like to wager what damage it could have wreaked. I did not even see you until after I had already engaged it."

"I should not have fought it - it was stupid, I could have lost my life for nothing." The young man seemed crestfallen as he declared this. Coop turned to him, shaking his head mournfully.

"It is a calculated risk. As a fighter against things like that, you take your life in your hands, but you do so for the right reasons." He dropped back and pulled out a blank silver brooch, which he handed to the farmer. "Look at this - this is you now. The men watched as it projected an image stating "Civillian - Blams 0; Saves 0." Coop prodded the brooch and the Blams and Saves counters both moved up to 1. "You have done something highly honourable today. Wear the badge with pride." The two men moved in towards the farm house and Coop helped the man down from the horse.

"And what of you, sir knight?" Coop walked back to his saddlebags and removed his cloak from the bag - a very similar looking silver brooch acted as a clasp there and Coop showed it to the farmer. "Supreme Commander - Blams 23,000; Saves 41,976." The farmer nodded impressively "It looks like I've got a way to go to catch you then, sir."

"A little, but I've got a bit of a head start over you." If you want to change your career, or make this more than just a casual defence occupation, head to town and speak to the blacksmiths - they tend to know a lot about it.

"Thank you once again sir. Will you not stop and rest a while?" Coop shook his head and replaced his helm.

"I have a duty to the people and King of Newgrounds. Perhaps I will have time when I retire... If I ever retire, that is." And with that, he mounted and trotted off down the track, unsure of where it would lead.

Updated: 10/28/09 1:32 PM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

21 Comments

Oct. 28, 2009 | 10:42 AM Bahamut says:

Getting better. Congrats on 23k. :)

Oct. 28, 2009 | 10:57 AM Coop83 responds:

I think this was certainly taken forward when it got to the Castle Crashers fanfic :P


Oct. 29, 2009 | 1:44 AM Captain-Ben says:

TL;DR

Oct. 29, 2009 | 6:08 AM Coop83 responds:

Gay


Oct. 29, 2009 | 4:41 AM tigerkitty says:

Well gosh... I'm torn between smiling and cringing.

It's something totally different, and because of that I like it...

I don't know what to say, really... I'm a bit at a loss for words, honestly.

Oct. 29, 2009 | 6:09 AM Coop83 responds:

There are previous episodes in this saga if you want to trawl through my news posts - you'll find that Episode 22 is slightly more cringe worthy, as it's got Joe in it ;)


Oct. 29, 2009 | 2:24 PM Timmy says:

Y-Your a Yankees fan?? D:

I don't think we can be friends anymore.

Oct. 29, 2009 | 7:33 PM Coop83 responds:

Does that mean you're rooting for either the Sox or, dare I say it, the Phils?

:P


Oct. 30, 2009 | 3:13 AM G-rida says:

lol what? you deleted my and banned me for my review on brawl taunts this site wasnt forcing you to praise horrible animations before and they just force you to give great reviews and you are great example of it.thanks for banning me but it wont change the truth about kirb and rina-chan and you said save it for 4chan? look
then they should save their stupid BROWN TONTS to 4Chan.dont go ban spree just because you are butthurt about the truth

Oct. 30, 2009 | 7:20 AM Coop83 responds:

Unlike some around here, I know the truth.

You can't handle the truth!


Oct. 30, 2009 | 3:57 AM iscrulz says:

Damn when was the last I was here. I got lots of catching up to do.

Oct. 30, 2009 | 7:21 AM Coop83 responds:

Well, have a read and let me know what you think.

Oh, you meant for B/P?

Lulz


Oct. 30, 2009 | 6:53 AM Figter says:

Good story...DAM good story...

Oct. 30, 2009 | 7:21 AM Coop83 responds:

Thanks man, there's other ones of mine about - just check earlier news posts


Oct. 30, 2009 | 8:57 AM Sonofkirk says:

Good job, it's written so well. And it's also a vocabulary goldmine for me ;).

Oct. 30, 2009 | 10:19 AM Coop83 responds:

Glad that I could be entertaining and informative at the same time :)

Thanks man :)


Oct. 30, 2009 | 4:53 PM G-rida says:

witch truth idiot? that you are a banning faggot or a faggot guardian of unorjinal 4Chan memes mixed up with game parodies(AKA:brawl taunts?)

you are a real shut in arent you?

Oct. 30, 2009 | 6:19 PM Coop83 responds:

Says the person too paranoid to give out any rough personal information - age, location, occupation, etc.

The ban was legitimate - get over yourself


Oct. 31, 2009 | 3:31 AM G-rida says:

your changing the topic of the arguement you didint counter what i said what are you talking about?usualy sites like NG earns money from your info(example facebook,twiter i dont have to give any info.your ban wasnt right just because i dont give info Keep sucking dick of other admins as a Shitty ban spree admin.XD

Oct. 31, 2009 | 6:34 AM Coop83 responds:

The ban was perfectly justified - the review you wrote had NOTHING to do with the submission that you wrote it for.

Newgrounds doesn't sell this information to third parties - you're just paranoid. If you're that paranoid, switch off your computer and move out of your parent's basement.

As for me being a "Shitty ban spree admin", I'm only a moderator. Newgrounds doesn't pay me to do a job, I do it on a voluntary basis.


Oct. 31, 2009 | 10:44 AM G-rida says:

hah paranoid? you are still changing the fucking arugement ''the review you wrote had NOTHING to do with the submission that you wrote it for.'' NO it was about it.it was explaining why its not orjinal and overhyped.you spend .thas why you said ''save it for 4Chan'' right?because brawl taunts has nothing to with 4Chan yeah? man what a faggot indeed and your calling me a basement dweller usualy NG people like you are basement dwellers i bet you dont know shit exept NG and twiter
BTw you spend your time to find reviews and ban them but you dont get money for it? Hmmm... i see whos the basement dweller here.XD

Oct. 31, 2009 | 10:59 AM Coop83 responds:

FYI - My home does not have a basement, cellar or anything of that nature. I was asked by the admins to work with the reviews and I agreed.

Go and waste your time trying to convince others of your point of view.


Oct. 31, 2009 | 12:56 PM G-rida says:

coop face it dude you suck ''basement dweller '' is a term you dont have to be in a basement retard yes and whenthey asked you accept it without any requests(money) u suck at business you suck at your job and most important part you
Suck at defending yourself.im not trying to convince you im trying to wake you up you have no right to ban me just becuse i said the right thing im not fucking scared
from kirb,rina or any other mod and admin.
BTW change your fucking picture you look like you are calling your boyfriend
to give you a BJ XD

Oct. 31, 2009 | 1:06 PM Coop83 responds:

Moderation has never been a job that was paid for. We do it because we care.

I'm not trying to defend myself - I've banned you and I don't feel bad about it. Perhaps I should just wait until your ban expires for you to make a mistake, then permanently exclude you from reviewing. If you have problems with my moderation, please feel free to contact my boss - wade@newgrounds.com

If you don't like Newgrounds, leave. You're pathetic.

At least I've got a picture.


Oct. 31, 2009 | 1:30 PM G-rida says:

HAHAH yeah right i should go to wadolf so he can end up swearing at the arguement
nice try,what?you care? you care so much that when a hentai comes and sits to the first place at portal(witch always happens) delete and and ban everybody just because they gave it a bad review like i did.
i care about NG future more than you do you idiot.
i dont need to put a picture,i dont spend my entire life here unlike you.

Oct. 31, 2009 | 2:27 PM Coop83 responds:

If you care about Newgrounds, you will leave.

End transmission.


Nov. 8, 2009 | 2:08 PM Figter says:

Wow..when i see what kind of duches you have to work with sometimes i wonder how you actually put up with it...

(G-rida )

Nov. 8, 2009 | 5:43 PM Coop83 responds:

Quite simply - ignorance is bliss :P


Nov. 16, 2009 | 4:59 PM Sinitron says:

Are you fucking retarded? My review clearly said 'blame', not 'blam'.

Nov. 16, 2009 | 5:15 PM Coop83 responds:

If I had a penny for every time I heard that, I'd have £17.28.

If I spent a pound for every time I believed it, I'd still have £17.28

Go figure.


Nov. 18, 2009 | 9:04 AM flipout6655 says:

Quite a stunning tale of epic proportions. Beautifully written, If I dare say.

Nov. 18, 2009 | 9:19 AM Coop83 responds:

That you very much - I'm hoping to get into a position for the next chapter soon :)


Nov. 22, 2009 | 1:34 PM Keven11Twenty7 says:

Nice story, actually you should check out my friend Nietzlawe's blogs. He writes a lot of interesting tales. Each blog is a personal story he wrote. I think he is trying to get some books published or something...

http://nietzlawe.newgrounds.com/

I'd bet he'd love a comment from you.

Nov. 22, 2009 | 2:37 PM Coop83 responds:

Thanks, I might consider that if I need a story to read at some point.


Nov. 26, 2009 | 4:10 PM jakenator85 says:

Why do you keep deleting my comments!? T_T If there is a problem, I promise, I can work it out!!!

Nov. 26, 2009 | 5:09 PM Coop83 responds:

Because your comments are largely pointless and off-topic. I don't subscribe to general chit-chat in my news posts


Nov. 27, 2009 | 12:18 AM Zombiffix says:

I love how you completely own G-rida, without having to call him a single name. But then G-rida comes back with, 'eff this and eff that'. Writing like that is just beautiful.

But on the flip side, majorpwnage1 is writing crap about me, you and Figter on G-rida's page instead of saying it to our faces.

Now that, is humour.

Nov. 27, 2009 | 3:17 AM Coop83 responds:

At the end of the day, what you've got to say is "Sticks and stones can break my bones, while chains and whips excite me."


Nov. 27, 2009 | 10:34 AM Zombiffix says:

oh, I know that. It's just funnier when you fight back :P

Nov. 27, 2009 | 10:49 AM Coop83 responds:

Sometimes, having the last word can make you feel better. Does it make you a better individual for doing so? Probably not.

Personally, I think that there will always be people like G-rida, who get themselves so wound up with delusions of their own self-worth and their ignorance of the rules that they just cannot accept that they were in the wrong.

I think that this was the reason I had a falling out with one of my girlfriend's friends. The main issue there was that she made the rules herself and then broke them, before becoming very surprised at my insistance that she adhere to them.

I do not, nor will I ever condone double standards.


Nov. 27, 2009 | 7:24 PM Jerry1362 says:

did you write that or something? cuz holy -bleep-, it took me 6 minutes to read that interesting story!

Nov. 28, 2009 | 5:58 AM Coop83 responds:

Yeah, I wrote it myself. I will get them all catalogued at some point. It could take a little jugging, as the plot kind of changed to Castle Crashers at some point... perhaps we'll keep the original beginning and go all "Quantum Leap" for the plot.

I'll just have to see about that.

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