Score: 6

"Low quality screamer"

submission: Dodraugen

date: November 3, 2009

I think that you need to study more screamers, before you make one that's going to actually cause a good scare. Adam Phillips did one, where it was a radio report of a spate of kidnappings, where people were literally taken from homes, businesses and the like. Then the creature burst through the window and took the guy listening to the radio. That's a brilliant piece of research for you. You can find that toon on Weebl's Stuff.

The drawing style could use a little work - I'm not too sure about the guy's face shape, as it looks like you've drawn a face on a balloon, for some reason. If he's sitting on the can, have him do something - trousers around his ankles, grunts of effort, that kind of thing. Perhaps a copy of a newspaper, which the creature could burst through, for the punchline.

Did the evil thing have to look like a radioactive sperm? Just an observation there. I'm not sure that drain pipes have that many twists and turns in them - people like to keep them as straight as possible, as it saves on maintenance.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"Needs a "play all" feature"

submission: Yings Unfinished Business

date: November 3, 2009

Well, it's not a bad presentation, consisting of all of the pieces that you've done in the past, but when it's just introduction idents, you really need to give it a broader scope to work with.

I think that you could use a "play all" function, combined with some sort of start page before each animation, telling us the title.

Of all the pieces that you've created here, Commercialise This and Around the Galaxy are the best that you have made. With the way that those two show promise of actually progressing to complete works, you've certainly got a finished product to look forward to, if you can force yourself to stick at it and work a little harder in actually creating. I know that the path is a long, hard one, but it is incredibly rewarding at the end.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"I've seen better"

submission: :The Dot Game:

date: November 1, 2009

But then again, I've seen a lot worse.

I think that this game is simple and not very well drawn, but you have engineered a good engine that can control such a game. Better drawing skills can be worked on over time and taking into consideration techniques, such as zooming in, using a slightly smaller drawing tool to make your levels, you will find it more rewarding, as the levels and designs you produce look more detailed and are part of bigger and better games.

I'd certainly suggest that you look at backgrounds, since that's where this piece falls down - a standard white background isn't very intriguing and offers nothing additional to plot line, or insight into the levels themselves. Perhaps you could couple that with some sound effects for the bounce of the ball and then for the deaths of the ball. Combined with a set number of lives in the engine and you've got the recipie for some massive strides forward with your game.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 7

"Getting there."

submission: The Creep

date: November 1, 2009

While it's not an award winning flash for this piece, you've certainly got yourself a rather good start, with the plot being set to the tone of a traditional zombie flick. I think that you could have done more to get the animation styles to all reflect one another.

The drawings are good and the animation is quite smooth, but continuity errors seem to be the bane of the piece - the arm 'blinking' and the way that it grew in length before attaching itself to the body and running amok. It's not a bad buildup, but the punchline does let you down a little, which is a shame.

I like the way that the piece progresses, but with no voices, you will be limited, even if you've got a good sound track, such as you do.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"Could use some serious work"

submission: Evil Cat

date: October 31, 2009

I think that there's a decent enough plot for this that you can certainly keep working at the art work, in order to make the piece look better.

I'd say that you need to zoom in more, giving more control of the cursor and when you zoom out, the image looks better finished.

What I disliked about the image quality was the "spray paint" effect of parts - this may be down the the video program that you've been using. Taking steps like getting the 30 day trial of Flash would certainly help matters here.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 7

"Great stuff"

submission: LazyMuffin Gets Drafted

date: October 29, 2009

Ah, some fresh blood enters the Are-me and shows just how much of a man basic training can make of him. Despite all of the stuff that is thrown at him, he still manages to make a decent fist of it all (allegedly)

The animation is good, the sound quality is nice and overall the impression that you get is one of sorrow at the radical change in lifestyle. I love the change of musical cues and the way that he established World Peace, just to enable himself to perpetrate more flash. A great motive, we should probably vote him for the Nobel Peace Prize, or something.

Batman was a good touch, but some of the other soldiers could have looked slightly unkempt, as otherwise it looks too good to be true - he's not going to be the only draftee that isn't perfect. Perhaps the only one that's that far from it, but it could look a little more convincing

[Review Request Club]

Score: 8

"Nice short"

submission: Johnny VS Zombies

date: October 29, 2009

Some really funny little bits and pieces cobbled together to make a very funny and well animated little flash piece. I love the different tunes that you've used to get it sounding right, combined with your interesting cartoon drawing style, which has been complimented by some great animating.

I guess the resounding success of this can be attributed to both you and Trevor, so thanks to you both for raising a smile in this house and I look forward to seeing more of what you've got, as your career is very promising already.

While I'm still not sure about how you put in the Michael Jackson link (I know about Thriller, but I just didn't see it coming), you've even managed to throw a vaguely tasteful tribute in there as well.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"Not bad"

submission: Poison ivy and nettles

date: October 29, 2009

A little short, but good artwork nonetheless. I think that you've got a good few ideas on how to set the piece up and everything, with good cutting and camera pans, but the main thing that lets your piece down is the length and lack of plot.

A shame, I know, but let's take the good - a very nice drawing style and some good sound effects added to the mix of your direction skills and you've got yourself a very good base for making good flash movies. I think that you could do with adding a few additional pieces to the mix, like voices, but that's something that will probably be forthcoming with additional plot line.

A good experiment that made the cut, so let's take this forward to the next step!

[Review Request Club]

Score: 7

"Nice looking"

submission: LL - TCLL Episode 1

date: October 28, 2009

I quite like the way you've put this together - quick set 'em up, knock 'em down plays with the gags, though you could put a few more gags in each episode. Perhaps have something like a camping trip and someone forgets to bring the food, or something essential like that.

I think that you've got a good format, with very nice drawing and animation style and I can certainly see that you've settled into the Lock Legion nicely. I look forward to seeing more of these in the near future.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 6

"A little depressing"

submission: LL - In the Slums

date: October 28, 2009

Man, this flash does kind of hammer home the message that things aren't as bright and rosy as they used to be. I can see that people try to do things to help, but what are you going to do to change it?

I think that the use of greys as the predominant colour scheme is a powerful symbolism and the way that SunshineLock still lives at the end of the piece shows that there is still hope. I just hope that you guys work out any differences and can carry on producing great flash.

The animation is good and so is the drawing. I'd possibly suggest making it longer and having us show who actually killed MagicWandLock, for example - it's got some potential for expansion, so think about it.

[Review Request Club]