Score: 4

"Short and a little pointless"

submission: Random senseless Violence

date: November 28, 2009

Not to say that this piece isn't worthy of making it to being a decent piece - you've got some good sound effects and voices, but you could do more. Basically, what I'd suggest is that you take a little more time to get the animation for the gun draw a little more evident and smooth, as opposed to just one second, nothing and the next, the guy has the gun in his hand and the corpse of the other guy is falling to the ground.

I think that you could take what you've got here and make it more interesting, giving the characters more to interact with, like a hot dog seller's stand, for instance. The guy that gets shot could just stand up, brandishing the ketchup bottle and taunt his opponent, thus giving you the opportunity to make this longer.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 4

"Informative, but..."

submission: Maze game Tutorial!

date: November 28, 2009

I think that this is an informative tutorial that can help people make a decent looking flash production. I think that you could do with making the previous and next buttons into a proper button, as opposed to just clicking on the words themselves - this can get quite frustrating.

I can see from the tutorial that you know how to make buttons, so it's going to need a little extra surrounding area, just to make the whole word into a button, which will then come along with making the tutorial more interesting and informative.

You could possibly include some pictures, showing what you mean, in places, so that the piece doesn't look like a dodgy powerpoint presentation with music attached.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 9

"Nice work"

submission: The Things We Never Said

date: November 28, 2009

A good music video, with some good additions, like the 'talking text', that just seems to fit in so well for this piece. I think that you've certainly got a talent for making these pieces and I can't wait to see the next one of them, in all honesty.

There's quite a sexual overtone for this piece, with the tentacles (hentai?) and the final tender scene in the alley, where they share a moment and he's groping her boobs. Just what a real man would do :P

I like the way that you've integrated certain 'abstract' scenes for the instrumentals, like the smoke and fire in soft focus, with the birds and flowers flying across the screen in stark contrast to the whole piece. That certainly indicates turmoil, as most relationships can go through from time to time. I like the way that you've either subconsciously or consciously used symbolism to your advantage there.

Certainly worth of a daily third, if not higher. Keep up the good work :)

[Review Request Club]

Score: 8

"Interesting symbolism"

submission: Conscience and Therapy

date: November 27, 2009

A rather dark piece that really does hit home with the whole gamut of emotions about killing an innocent person and then sinking into a downward spiral, eventually leading to suicide.

I think that it's a powerful piece, with good animation and the powerful message. I think that you could have done a little more work with the raindrops in the puddles, as they looked far too uniform, considering that there was a lot of 'randomness' about the flow of blood from the character's face. I'd have also suggested that you didn't reflect the faces when they come out from in front of the car seats - it looks unnatural and out of place.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 8

"Happy Turkey Day!"

submission: Turkey Hunter 2

date: November 26, 2009

A well designed, easy to control, rather violent little game, in celebration of one of the most bland of meats available on the market today.

I think that this is certainly one of your best, as the drawing style looks better than usual and the animation is smooth and well controlled. I wish that the turkeys did more though, as some of the regular ones could do with being able to attack you, to give more of a sense of urgency to the player.

I think that there could have been a punchline at the end - you're going to need a bigger oven, or something like that. It just seemed too abrupt, so given that and a couple more little tweaks, you could certainly get yourself a very nice looking piece of flash to run with.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 7

"A little short"

submission: Shadowman & The Garroter

date: November 25, 2009

There were certainly some creepy bits in this piece and with the combination of the music and the actual animation, it wasn't bad - with how the shadow appeared to migrate, perhaps you could have done more - the tendril like wisps of the shadows could have done something and the hand that we looked at could have shown a normal hand curling up, then suddenly one that opens up with the claws, for example.

It's a god start, but I think that there needs to be more plot to it. Perhaps this guy sneaks into people's houses at night and steals young girls for his sadistic pleasure? I'm sure you can come up with something that fits for the whole piece.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 8

"Nice parody"

submission: More Dragonforce

date: November 24, 2009

This isn't a bad parody of the Bunnykill style - the animation is good, the syncing is pretty effective and overall, you can tell that it's meant to be Snowdrop actually playing the guitar himself. I'm not sure about the black bunnies singing the backing vocals, but the way things panned out with the humour, it's not that bad.

Quick question though - if Snowdrop exploded while playing the riff, who stood over the grave with the Axe embedded in it? In Bunnykill 4, it was Snowdrop, who stood over the grave of his fallen love, but if he's dead... this causes a few issues :P

Good animation, good drawing techniques, as you've fitted the guitar into the style of the original animation, which is the biggest tribute you can make to an artist.

I think I'd like to see a full song performed, but knowing that Dragonforce tend to lean towards the longer songs, this could be a large animation that you have to perform. Good luck with that :P

[Review Request Club]

Score: 4

"An interesting piece"

submission: Fat PinK Panther

date: November 20, 2009

While I liked the music to start with, the way that it fell apart for me was the morning after scene, where he woke up next to Popeye. I'd have thought that he was at least infatuated with Inspector Clouseau and would have consummated that relationship first.

Perhaps this is the sort of thing that needs more plot initially to get it going - I know that they start off at a rave and as a result, you could have had the Panther snorting a line of coke, downing an E, or injecting with heroin. Judging by the after effects of the anorexia, perhaps heroin would have been the drug of choice.

Yes, we've seen the symbolism of pieces that have been used to make people realise what anorexia or bulimia does to you, so I can sympathise with that part, but you did go a little over the top when you went into the self harm phase. Most people would draw the line at cutting their own guts out.

Still, marks for trying and a great use of some interesting pieces of music.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 10

"Excellent sub-plot"

submission: Madness Combat 5.5

date: November 20, 2009

I love the way that you've woven this story around two seemingly new players in the game that has become Madness. I just had to go back and watch Madness Combat 5 and 6 in order to totally understand this piece from start to finish. I love the way that the time has come to start explaining things along the lines of 'how did this happen?', as I'm sure over the coming episodes, we'll see a much clearer picture of the way tha tthe madness infects us all.

I love the way that you've put the graphics in of things like the people dancing in the one building - it just shows them that there's the most awesome of callbacks to the humble beginnings of this series that has now spiralled out of control of the original intentions... or has it?!

The little details being paid attention to are what really makes me smile here - the two guys patching themselves up as they go through the building and even grabbing a bandanna for their troubles. What next, a dirty vest? :P The way the sky looks like the static on an old TV, combined with the blood red of a Nevada night that has been the backdrop for so long is really a nice touch that I think you're certainly making the most of.

I'm certainly looking forward to seeing where these two get to come back into the main Madness story line. Combat 10, or will we see another chapter of this sub-plot first?

Do these guys have names? Are they as catchy as Hank, Jesus and Clown? I can only wait and see, but I assure you, I really don't want to do that.

Is there any chance that you can make a DVD of all of these episodes together? It's getting to be quite a trial just to find them out amongst your collection of flash submissions. That and I think you deserve some hard earned cash for your efforts with this amazing and long-lived series.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"Too short again"

submission: Red Bull Contrib 1 and 2

date: November 20, 2009

I think that this piece needs more work than your other work, but that's possibly because it's shorter and lacks any real subtlety.

I think that your delivery is basic, to say the least - there's little to no background and the flash itself totals little over 5 seconds long. Perhaps have the main character shaking, from the after effects of the caffeine in his system. Why not have him drop the last Red Bull can when the second guy comes along. Sound effects can be your ally here.

When he goes ape and punches the guy, perhaps put some sort of punch sound effect in, rather than having it done with the vocal talents which are limited by a bad mic. It will come with time, but getting a good plot in place is a good start, especially when you've got the ability to draw reasonably well.

For the drawing, I'd zoom in a little and use a slightly smaller tool, to give you a greater degree of control in your drawings. Taking more time to smooth out the drawings will give you a better looking piece at the end of the day and you'll get more credit if you do it right.

[Review Request Club]