Score: 9

"Funny, but tasteless."

submission: Remembrance Day - 2009

date: November 13, 2009

But then again, I think that's the point you were trying to make in the flash. The symbolism of commercialisation of every other time of stopping to think, for example Xmas, Easter and various other religious festivals. I know that Remembrance or Veterans day is different from being a religious matter, in that it's multi-faith, but it's a shocking insight to the way that companies think with regards to sales.

A good contrast was achieved with the touching start and then the crass, over-pitched sales takeover on the part of the Electronics Store. I think that perhaps the holocaust / Schindler's List style hunting down of the high prices was a little too far on this occasion, unless you really took it further, when Schindler worked for another Electrical supplier and says to a high price working for him "If this shop ever sells a TV at these high prices, I will be very unhappy."

Some good comedy, aside from the borderline taste issues and a great style of animation. Will you be submitting something for Xmas, or will you just leave it at that?

[Review Request Club]

Score: 4

"Too short"

submission: Eku Dance Sock

date: November 9, 2009

For a frame by frame, this is an animation that starts with low expectations, I'm afraid. I think that you've got a good concept, but it just seems to me that you bailed out before the flash could be completed.

What it needs is some colour! Once the Eku Dance Sock has been used, perhaps this would mean the guy has suddenly discovered a new lease of life and the colour is symbolic of it. Change the music to something dance like and upbeat, giving him the chance to show off his moves.

Even if you show some crappy dance moves from generations past - the twist, the bird and all of that, some break dancing, for example, it would take it further. What I'd suggest is that you get a voice actor, who can deliver such a punch, that the piece sounds like it needs to be sold, then turn it into an advert.

"Only $29.95, hurry now, stocks are limited!" Put some sort of disclaimer up there to say that the 0800 number isn't real and that you're not actually selling these things... yet ;)

I can't really mark you for having anything more than potential at the moment. Give it a shot, you can do this!

[Review Request Club]

Score: 8

"Very well done"

submission: The Sculpture

date: November 9, 2009

A well devised piece, reminiscent of an episode of Dr. Who "Don't Blink", where statues of angels would close in on people and kill them gruesomely. It's a great concept and I wish that you'd take it further - someone opens the door, looks around and says "Where is it?", at which point, they die and this thing goes on a rampage.

The style of the 1980s Saturday morning cartoon is prevalent here, giving us a nice looking piece that looks nice and retro. I think that this could be modernised slightly, without making it look too out of place - the colours you've used are quite pastel and matt finished. If you were to give them more of a gloss overtone, you'd make it look more like a modern cartoon.

Great suspense and a great start - keep up the good work :)

[Review Request Club]

Score: 6

"Pretty strange"

submission: Dufflebag Dud

date: November 8, 2009

Well, there's not much plot to this, with a rather interesting style of animation. I can see the parody of the more traditional style of cartoons, reminiscent of the early Mickey Mouse drawings. I'm not entirely sure why you've put the "Upper Class Carl Johnson" in there, because the moustache is really pointless and when it was coupled with the plot, or lack thereof. Was this some sort of bombing run?

I'm not entirely convinced by this piece, but it does show that you've got some decent animation skills, but you could certainly do with backing it up with some good plot writing skills. There are plenty of people out there that are looking for cartoonists to animate their pieces, so just start borwsing the forums and you will find what you're looking for. Good luck with that!

[Review Request Club]

Score: 6

"Low quality screamer"

submission: Dodraugen

date: November 3, 2009

I think that you need to study more screamers, before you make one that's going to actually cause a good scare. Adam Phillips did one, where it was a radio report of a spate of kidnappings, where people were literally taken from homes, businesses and the like. Then the creature burst through the window and took the guy listening to the radio. That's a brilliant piece of research for you. You can find that toon on Weebl's Stuff.

The drawing style could use a little work - I'm not too sure about the guy's face shape, as it looks like you've drawn a face on a balloon, for some reason. If he's sitting on the can, have him do something - trousers around his ankles, grunts of effort, that kind of thing. Perhaps a copy of a newspaper, which the creature could burst through, for the punchline.

Did the evil thing have to look like a radioactive sperm? Just an observation there. I'm not sure that drain pipes have that many twists and turns in them - people like to keep them as straight as possible, as it saves on maintenance.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"Needs a "play all" feature"

submission: Yings Unfinished Business

date: November 3, 2009

Well, it's not a bad presentation, consisting of all of the pieces that you've done in the past, but when it's just introduction idents, you really need to give it a broader scope to work with.

I think that you could use a "play all" function, combined with some sort of start page before each animation, telling us the title.

Of all the pieces that you've created here, Commercialise This and Around the Galaxy are the best that you have made. With the way that those two show promise of actually progressing to complete works, you've certainly got a finished product to look forward to, if you can force yourself to stick at it and work a little harder in actually creating. I know that the path is a long, hard one, but it is incredibly rewarding at the end.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"I've seen better"

submission: :The Dot Game:

date: November 1, 2009

But then again, I've seen a lot worse.

I think that this game is simple and not very well drawn, but you have engineered a good engine that can control such a game. Better drawing skills can be worked on over time and taking into consideration techniques, such as zooming in, using a slightly smaller drawing tool to make your levels, you will find it more rewarding, as the levels and designs you produce look more detailed and are part of bigger and better games.

I'd certainly suggest that you look at backgrounds, since that's where this piece falls down - a standard white background isn't very intriguing and offers nothing additional to plot line, or insight into the levels themselves. Perhaps you could couple that with some sound effects for the bounce of the ball and then for the deaths of the ball. Combined with a set number of lives in the engine and you've got the recipie for some massive strides forward with your game.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 7

"Getting there."

submission: The Creep

date: November 1, 2009

While it's not an award winning flash for this piece, you've certainly got yourself a rather good start, with the plot being set to the tone of a traditional zombie flick. I think that you could have done more to get the animation styles to all reflect one another.

The drawings are good and the animation is quite smooth, but continuity errors seem to be the bane of the piece - the arm 'blinking' and the way that it grew in length before attaching itself to the body and running amok. It's not a bad buildup, but the punchline does let you down a little, which is a shame.

I like the way that the piece progresses, but with no voices, you will be limited, even if you've got a good sound track, such as you do.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 5

"Could use some serious work"

submission: Evil Cat

date: October 31, 2009

I think that there's a decent enough plot for this that you can certainly keep working at the art work, in order to make the piece look better.

I'd say that you need to zoom in more, giving more control of the cursor and when you zoom out, the image looks better finished.

What I disliked about the image quality was the "spray paint" effect of parts - this may be down the the video program that you've been using. Taking steps like getting the 30 day trial of Flash would certainly help matters here.

[Review Request Club]

Score: 7

"Great stuff"

submission: LazyMuffin Gets Drafted

date: October 29, 2009

Ah, some fresh blood enters the Are-me and shows just how much of a man basic training can make of him. Despite all of the stuff that is thrown at him, he still manages to make a decent fist of it all (allegedly)

The animation is good, the sound quality is nice and overall the impression that you get is one of sorrow at the radical change in lifestyle. I love the change of musical cues and the way that he established World Peace, just to enable himself to perpetrate more flash. A great motive, we should probably vote him for the Nobel Peace Prize, or something.

Batman was a good touch, but some of the other soldiers could have looked slightly unkempt, as otherwise it looks too good to be true - he's not going to be the only draftee that isn't perfect. Perhaps the only one that's that far from it, but it could look a little more convincing

[Review Request Club]